08 March, 2008

Saleeby Seven - Fatal Increment

From: "Barrister Abdullahi Djallo"  
Subject: CONFIRMED

Date: Sat,  2 Sep 2006 14:40:55


ATTENTION MR.WILLONZO TERRABYTE O'NUALAIN

TAKE NOTE OF THIS DIRECTIVES SENDING THE AMOUNT REQUIRED IN FAVOUR OF MY PERSON SECRETARY'S NAME THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, HER NAME AND THE DETAILS NEEDED BY WESTERN UNION TO SEND OR RECEIVE MONEY FROM ANY PART OF THE WORLD ARE STATED AS FOLLOWS.

Name; Miss Faith Omagbon Osemwonyemwen
Address; 45 harmo grand yoff, Dakar Senegal.
Phone; + 221 557 10 26

ThEN FORWARD DIRECT TO ME THIS 3 INFORMATION WRITTEN BELOW SO THAT SHE CAN ASSIST ME CASH THE MONEY FROMTHE WESTERN UNION OVER HERE.

1) The control numbers
2) The test question and answer
3) The name and address of the sender

I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOONEST, BE AWARE THAT IT WILL TAKE ME MAXIMUM OF 2DAYS TO PRODUCE THESE DOCUMENTS IF I CAN RECEICE THE ABOVE SUM/CHARGES FROM YOU BETWEEN NOW AND TOMORROW. THANKS.

YOURS SINCERELY
ABDULLAHI DJALLO
AMDYCHAMBERS,DAKAR-SENEGAL.

 

 

From: "Willonzo O'Nualain"  
Subject: RE: CONFIRMED 
Date: Sat, 02 Sep 2006 15:35:31

 

Dear Ms Barrister: 

I confirm I am in RECEIPT of your confirmation. FUNDS WILL BE WIRED SOONEST. PLEASE STAND READY TO receive me, i.e. assume the POSITION. 

I WILL CONFIRM WITH YOU UPON CONFIRMATION OF ACKNOWLDGEMENT. 

Please acknowledge. 

Yours wistfully 
W.T. O'N.

 

 

From: "Susi"  
Subject: Help me out Date: Sat,  2 Sep 2006 15:40:16

 

Hello honey,

I very sorry for all that happen to you,and thanks for your concern about me,please honey let me tell you please stop takling to our Lawyer the way you are talking him him please note that he is an addvance man not a small boy in the seciety so please talk to him in a mature way so that he can help us.


Meanwhile i talk with him today to help us our from the problems we find outself he that he can not do anything without we paying him that the fee his is going to use to get every documents endose from the high court,and i try to find out from other Lawyer to see if i can get other Lawyer that will help us without we paying him or she first,i have come to find out that the money they are asking us to pay was about getting to five thousand euro.so i thing we have to hold on to this our Lawyer so that he can get all the necessary documents for us for that mount he requested for.And i try to find out from himù how long will it take for the documents to be ready and when the bank will make the transfer of the fund when they get every documents needed,he told me that it will only take the Bank 4 working days the transfer will get to your account in your country.


So please honey i want you to help me out of this situation,as you know i did not have row cash with me as i am in the refugee camp here in Senegal please honey try your best to arrange for this fees or you can borrow this money from any where and send it to the Lawyer as soon as the transfer get to your account inyour country will pay back with intrest,i mean any money you borrow from any where we are going to pay back in few days time with interest so please help me out.


As i waiot to hear from you soon.
My great regards
Miss susi with love & trust.

 

 

From: "Willonzo O'Nualain"  
Subject: RE: Help me out 
Date: Sat, 02 Sep 2006 17:53:28

 

My Susi babydoll of premier ovine beauty, 

I must apologise and say my sincerest sorry to you for my inappropriate and wrong words to the lawyer. They were very wrong and I regret them deeply. You are right of course, he is not a little boy and I should not have spoken to him like that. I will send him a letter of apology also in the coming minutes. You must believe I am contrite. 

I have performed some calculations of numbers and I have discovered that the sum demanded by the law man comes to EUR1,909.06. This converts to 1'252'261 CFA Franc BCEAO in Senegal money. (What a funny figure for legal fees!) Luckily I work in a bank where everyone is very familiar with transactions of this kind. Anyway, I will try my best to TRANSFER MONEY IN NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS. 

I cannot borrow the money from a bank as I have bad credit, but there is a man who lends people money on my estate who I can approach. His name is Fisty Magee, he is very brutally aggressive and vicious, but he likes to eat marshmallow flogs and Wham bars, so maybe I will buy him some as a gift (bribe). 

It shouldn't be long now my darling. I can almost taste your lasagne in my mouth, oh the way you spread the cheese evenly over the top, and the layers are just the right thickness... Delicious! I don't want to spoil it, but I might have another surprise for you very soon! I have been working very hard with my own human brains (and some help from the Gardaí) and have found somebody living right here in Dublin you may be interested in reuniting with... But hush! Already I say too much! All will be revealed shortly my sweet! 

Your little hug-weasel with sharply uneven jagged fangs, 
Willonzo

 

 

From: "Willonzo O'Nualain"  
Subject: URGENT: APOLOGY 
Date: Sat, 02 Sep 2006 18:09:03

 

Dearest law master: 

I have just received a mail from my "darling" "wife" chastising me for treating you badly. I must admit that in retrospect, you did nothing to deserve this abuse. 

I implore you to bestow your forgiveness upon me, sir/madam. Please let me know that all is well between us, i.e. stability of our relationship. Are we cool? 

The enigma that is 
Willonzo 
(arch nemesis of Enda Kenny) 

PS Three patrol boats from Spain and Italy were heading towards Senegal yesterday to try to stop vessels bringing migrants into Europe via the Canary Islands. 

The boats, which will team up with three Senegalese patrol vessels, are moving into place along the African coastline as Spanish authorities report that as many migrants have reached the Canary Islands in August as in the whole of last year. Close to 6,000 immigrants arrived over August, compared with 4,751 for the whole of 2005.

 

 

From: "Willonzo O'Nualain"  
Subject: URGENT 
Date: Sat, 02 Sep 2006 23:57:47

PLEASE CONSULT FOLLOWING URL: 


This is my appendage. 

I would appreciate reciprocal images of yourself. 

W

 

 

From: "Susi"  
Subject: Help me out 
Date: Sun,  3 Sep 2006 15:11:46

 

Hello honey,

Thanks for your mail and for your understand about what i told you about our Lawyer,i think if you write to him an appology letter he will understand.

 

Meanwhile i am just back from the church service and i really pray for our sucess on this transfer and i pray for you most specially because you know you are my only hope and there is know other place i put my hope on that will help me out of this situation that i found myself,please honey try your possible best to arrange for the fees so that you can send it to our Lawyer first thing tomorrow morning so that he can start the paper work at the high [court] to see that our work will be the first thing that the court will attend to as the first appointment they have to give attention to in the morning.

 

So please honey try your best to help me out from this situation as i am worried as i did not have money with me,like as i told you before please any where you get the money from we 'll pay the person back with intrest and within a short time,so please honey i want to see that before the ending of this week the money will be transfer atless before wenestday so that by monday or tuesday next week the transfer will get to your account in your country there you can send me some money to prepare for my coming to meet with you,mind you it confidencial please for our safty and security then after the money get to your account you can take the one you borrow with intrest and pay the person back wthin the short time.

 

Please as soon as you send the money get me informed so that i can go to our Lawyer office and submit to him the WILL with the death certificate that is with me to him to submimt it along with the other document that he is getting from the high court to Bank for the release of the fund to be transfered.

 

As i wait to hear from you soon.

My great regards

Miss Susi with love & trust.

 

 

From: "Willonzo O'Nualain"  
Subject: RE: Help me out 
Date: Sun, 03 Sep 2006 23:55:07

 

Miss Susi, oh how I miss my Miss choosy Susi, 

I said I'd write a letter of apology to the lawyer didn't I? It's done already. Chill. You never let up, for jaysus sake. Anyway, how is my disingenuous little mongoose today? I hope to god in the highest that you are not yet deceased in the holiday camp in Dakar Senegal. 

So here is my news for today:- I went to speak today with Mr. Fisty Magee, loan shark and burlesque dancer extraordinaire. He graciously accepted my gift of a case of Refreshers and Fruit Salads. As I explained, my credit with the bank is bad due to me using my overdraft to buy Farah slacks in bulk. You will have to use your mind to recall that I told you this already. Be still: do you remember? Good. 

Mr. Fisty has agreed to lend me the money that will deliver you from bondage (are you into that by the way?). So great news! I will TRANSFER FUNDS TOMORROW! And then it will be a short hop, skip and/or jump to bringing you here to the comfort of my bousoms and I shall be able to commence my exploration of your delicate lady garden. 

Now, I think it is time to tell you my big surprise... Some time ago I was out for a few swift tipples with my colleagues in trendy NORTHSIDE wine bar The Mutt and Slapper. The ambience was sublime, however I was drinking a lethal cocktail of Tia Maria and Windolene and quickly became inebriated. On my way home the fancy took me to borrow a car (1997 Fiat Punto, green, low mileage). Apart from a collision with a stray cow, the voyage home was uneventful until I came to a Garda checkpoint. 

The BEAN GARDA (lady of the law) was going to issue me a fine for driving with headlights obscured by cow's blood. I did my best to befriend her, saying "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits? I OWN Ballybrack!" But only when I mentioned your name did she quit her scribblin'. Apparently your family is well known to her. 

After much research on the interweb and some help from my new friend in blue (her name is Sgt. Strawberry Cornetto) we have located your own dearest darling mumsie right here in Dublin! She's not pushin’ up the daisies after all! Wow, how about that for a twist in the plot!! Well, as you can imagine, I went directly to meet with her in her own person and face-2-face, as is the custom in my country. I brought her first for lunch and then to a park where we did paintballing 

She is deliriously happy that her own beautiful daughter will soon be returning to her rightful position between her maternal bousoms. (Yes, you are a lucky girl to have so many to choose from!) 

Anyway, I'll stop shitin' on now and let you go to sleep as I am sure you need to rest for a big day tomorrow, continuing construction on the escape tunnel and bringing the soil to the exercise yard in your pockets. 

Always and forever yours with love and trust and love, 
Willonzo 


PS I realise I sent you a mail last night with a URL and I claimed that the APPENDAGE (parrot) in the picture was my own. I must apologise as I misrepresented myself; it is not mine, but that of another MAN (human being). My own is much larger. Please forgive me IMMEDIATELY (now). Thanks etc.

 

 

From: "Barrister Abdullahi Djallo"  
Subject: FORGIVEN 
Date: Mon,  4 Sep 2006 12:54:42

 

ATTENTION MR.WILLONZO TERRABYTE O'NUALAIN

YOUR APOLOGY HAS BEEN ACCEPTED, I WILL NOT BE A PARTY TO ARRANGE YOUR WIFE TO TRAVEL TO EUROPE WITHOUT LEGAL ENTRY VISA/PERMIT. DO NOT WORRY YOURSELF IN THAT AREA BECAUSE MY NAME AND INFLUENCE IS ENOUGH TO GRANT HER VISA FROM ANY EMBASSY OVER HERE, JUST ASSIGN THAT ONE TO ME AND I WILL GIVE YOU SOME DAYS TO SECURE A GENUINE VISA FOR YOUR WIFE THROUGH MY CONTACTS OVER HERE. 

MEANWHILE I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU CAN SEND ME THE US$2, 450 BEFORE EVENING TODAY TO ENBALE ME SUBMIT YOUR FILE AT THE TRIBUNAL BEFORE THE COURT CLOSES? SO THAT BY TOMORROW MORNING OUR FILE WILL BE AMONG THE FIRST TO BE ATTENDED.

YOURS SINCERELY
ABDULLAHI DJALLO
AMDYCHAMBERS,DAKAR-SENEGAL.

 

 

From: "Willonzo O'Nualain"  
Subject: RE: FORGIVEN

Date: Mon, 04 Sep 2006 14:15:07

 

Close friend and confidant, 

Your forgiveness has raised my heart. I am in your debt. I am lucky to have a expert in matters of law such as yourself working for me and so is my wife. 

I am going to the Western Union office in Dublin Ireland RIGHT NOW. If all goes well, I should return from my expedition with the required details. If not, I will advise with extreme prejudice. 

Many thanks, 
Willonzo honey

 

 

From: "BANK OF AFRICA SENEGAL"  
Subject: Compliment. 
Date: Mon, 04 Sep 2006 13:25:11

 

Bank Of Africa Senegal(BOASE)
39,Av.Leopold Sedar Senghor,
Dakar Senegal.West Africa.
Tel: 00 221 466 2471
Fax: 00 221 892 4845

Attn:Mr.Willonzo O'Nualain

I am directed to inform you that there is need for you to hasten up in whatever you do to provide the required documents because time is also part of our security protocls.

Thanks for your co-operation.

Yours faithfully,
Mr.Omar Ndiaye.
Foreign operations & International Remittance Dept.
(Bank of Africa Senegal,Dakar-Senegal)


--

___________________________________________________
Play 100s of games for FREE! http://games.mail.com/

 

 

From: "Willonzo O'Nualain"  
Subject: RE: Compliment. 
Date: Mon, 04 Sep 2006 14:19:42


Omar Omar Bomar bobanna-banna Bomar, 

Yes, it is high time we got working on this money situation, I agree. Do you have any suggestions as to how I should spend the money, as my financial advisor recently defenestrated himself from the 16th floor of Liberty Hall in Dublin. 

Many thanks 
Willonzo darling

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