Pinch Punch, First Day of the Month! (And Thievery Update)

I once went out with a girl who, on the first day of each month, would  punch me in the upper arm twice and say "Pinch, punch, first day of the month!" Such was my lack of interest in this obscure ritual, I never asked her why she was hitting me, or why she didn't pinch my arm and then hit me just once. Ah well, she's a malignant bitch and she's long gone from my life now, so I guess I'll never know.

(I should say that even though the above might sound like a monthly episode of domestic abuse, the blows were nominal.)

Anyway, enough of that. It may be Friday night and I may well be sitting at home alone posting this instead of being out drinking. And condoms may well be cheaper now than they've been for years. But who needs women and booze so long as I have my housemates. 

A Correction

Stinky Magee is not Stinky Magee's real name. The Stinky part at least (though he does stink). Nor is his first name Fingers or Ulick. In fact, no real names of civilians will be used in this blog, in order to protect the innocent. That said, Sean O'Dea is a thieving bastard.  

"Was anything stolen from your room, Sean?" This was Laura asking Sean yesterday after she found out some jewelry thing or other had been taken the night the valuer came over.

"Nah, don't think so," said Sean.

Pause.

"Actually, it was me, I took your stuff," he says.

"What?"

"Yeah, for a laugh. Then it went on too long and it wasn't very funny."

The fecker stole the stuff thinking we'd pin it on the valuer, then chickened out and said it was a joke. And this confirms my suspicion that O'Dea's been in my room on other occasions. I once wrote the words "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY FUCKING ROOM??" on the inside lid of a box of Cornflakes I had under my bed. He couldn't look me in the eye for a week. Proof positive...