06 February, 2008

Spunky Bus and Work Update

Okay, so maybe working fulltime is not conducive to writing a blog, along with all my other obscure divarsions... But I will persevere! 

So this morning I got on the bus to work as per usual, sat down and stuffed the old laptop case down between my feet. It was then that I noticed a pale viscous substance slowly sliding down the back of the seat in front of me.
Now, I can't tell you what I thought it might have been, and I can only offer in my defense the fact that it was somewhere in the region of 7am and the brain doesn't kick in till around 11.30. But for some reason I felt the need to investigate further and touch it with the tip of my right index finger. I mean, what the hell was I going to do, taste it?? I then, having been jolted awake by stark realisation, spent the rest of the journey wiping my finger red-raw against the fabric of the seat (having moved down towards the back a few rows).
What the fuck? What gets me about this is that it was quite obviously a recent discharge. So what the hell kind of person gets on the bus before first light and decides to give himself a five-fingered Mary? And was he still there on the bus when I got on? Watching gleefully as the first sucker sat there and got his yucky joy juice all over their good trousers? 
Worst of the lot was I got a streak of it stuck to my bag while trying to extricate myself from the sticky situation and I'm having trouble getting rid of it. Dublin Bus, we clearly need a contingent of armed Bus Marshals vigilant and ready to put a stop to this kind of public masturbation on our public transport. I will be happy to join an interim volunteer force until arrangements can be made...

As for work, well having been promoted recently (yes, that's right ladies, and I'm still single...) I've been putting in a lot more hours so I won't look like I'm slacking off and resting on my laurels. That said, a few interesting things have happened in work-land that I'd like to blather about, so I'll get on that soonish. Maybe at the weekend. Or later in the month. Don't pressure me, I'm on a knife-edge here!

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